|Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 2|
Main episode article
Aki: And that’s what a period really is.
Natsumi: *Shocked* Oh my god Mom, we didn’t ask…
Fuyuki: *Shocked sounds*
Aki: *Quickly* Glad you understand. Now, what are we going to do with the frog...
Natsumi: *Irritated* We can hit him with your motorcycle.
Aki: I was thinking a room.
Natsumi: *Irritated* I like my idea better.
Fuyuki: You mean he gets to stay?
Natsumi: *Shocked* Mom, did you forget what happened today already?
Aki: Hey, you were asking for it.
Aki: I love you too!
Keroro: Ahh, reminds me of something my dad told me. *Turns dark, whispers* Natsumi’s a whore...
*Natsumi kicks Keroro into the wall*
Natsumi: *Annoyed and deadpan* There. I made him a room.
Keroro: *Muffled* Could you also bring me my luggage...?
*Aki opens trapdoor*
Aki: *Calling out* Is anyone dead down there?! *Cheeky* Just kidding. I got some weirdo in glasses to clear the ghost out.
Fuyuki: ...Harold Ramis?
Aki: *Quickly* I dunno. It was some guy from Florida. Come on down!
*Turns on light*
Aki: *Sweetly* And here’s your room, Keroro.
Keroro: *In Spanish* Finally! You got me a choo-choo! *English* What the fuck...
Aki: *Giddy* Don’t you love it? It’s a heaven of splinters and asbestos! It’s just like an apartment. You even have a roommate! *Calls out* Hi honey!
Haru: *Muffled* LOVE YOU BABYYYY!
Keroro: I don’t even have a bed, but I love it!
Natsumi: *Deadpan* Today sucks. I need a lie-down. *Crash*
Aki: *Sweet* Alrighty! You fix it up how you want. *Lower* Natsumi, what is wrong with you?
Keroro: *Singing through gritted teeth* I GOT A ROOOOOM. I GOT A- oh, Fuyuki!
Keroro: *Deadpan* Gimme fifty bucks. I’m robbing you.
*Cuts to shot of ladder*
Keroro: Fuyuki! I need help!
Fuyuki: Coming, Sarge! *Crash*
Keroro: There you are. Can you get me a weirdly shaped fruit and a straw?
Fuyuki, Natsumi, Aki: Mine?
*Pans around the room*
Fuyuki: Where did you get all this stuff?
Natsumi: *Shocked* How did you even clean this place?
Aki: *Worried* ...What happened to my husband...?
*Keroro sits in silence, cuts to outside school*
Narrator: The next day at school. Hi! I’m the narrator!
*Cuts to Fuyuki in class*
Fuyuki: Hi, I’m Fuyuki. My hobbies include cartwheeling, sewing, and riding my bike into a tree. Llllladies?
*Turns around, class is empty*
Fuyuki: Yeah, that went how I expected. *Turns and looks out window* What happened to my game. Sarge! Where do I get game?!
Keroro: *Dazed singing* You can’t make a candle outta hopes and dreams.
Fuyuki: *Singing* They both go together like coffee and cream. Thanks Sarge! ...Sarge?!
*Cuts to Momoka peering in*
Momoka: *Dreamy* There’s the man of my dreams. Alone in a classroom. Singing to a window. *Whisper*...ssso-fiiiine...
Fuyuki: *Running out* Don’t tell me you burnt down the house!
Momoka: Oh god he’s coming! Quickly! Think of something alluring to do!
Momoka: I did it! I’m on top! *Out loud, nervous* Sorry Fuyuki, I should have looked where I was going-
Fuyuki: Wait! I know how to handle this! You should take this alien badge, cause your looks are out of this world. Aaaaaaaahhh.
Momoka: *Lovestruck sighing* Haaaaaahhh...
Fuyuki: Hope that worked! Later, Momoka!
Momoka: Wait! *Starts slow, gets faster and less coherent* I just wanted to ask- I just wanted to say- you know about you, if you, would you like to, um, yeah. Potato- design. Wind. Rocking chairs! Canyons! I want a b-bike for my birth-b-b-beddidy-beddidy-boppity-bop-BOPBITTYBOP!!
Fuyuki: I think you were flat.
Momoka: STATUE!!! *Runs away*
Fuyuki: What was that...?
Snake: Sounds like Stockholm Syndrome to me!
*Cut to Momoka kneeling on ground*
Momoka: *Muffled sobbing* Damnit! Middle School’s so important! These problems matter!
Tamama: *Muffled* Need air! NEED AIR! *GASP*
*Tamama jumps out of bag*
Tamama: *Slowly wanders off* Whoo, man! I’ve been cooped up in there too long. I need to make some room for Sarge! Of course that’s not gonna last very long; not if my mom is right.
Momoka: RrrrRRRR GET BACK HERE!!!
Tamama: Whoa, that’s some reach...
Momoka: *Softly* I only have myself to blame for this, *getting louder* but sometimes a girl’s just gotta LET IT OUT!
Tamama: I have that same problem.
Momoka: How about you make like a tree and-!!!
Tamama: Walk it off.
Natsumi: *Bossy* Alright. Who took all the balls?
Mrs PMS: YOU DON’T HAVE ANY! BUT YOU STILL PASS!
Keroro: Went back home and my momma said...
Fuyuki: Hey, Sarge!
Keroro: *Jumps up, screaming* I HATE BROKEN SIDEWALKS! Oh hey Fuyuki.
*Occasional whacks and Tamama can be heard in the distance*
Fuyuki: What are you doing at my school?
Keroro: Finding my ass- er, privates. Private.
*Whacks and Tamama are clearer*
Momoka: MAKE LIKE A- ow. LIKE A TREE AND-ow. MAKE A TREE OUT OF-ow.
Keroro: *Gasp* Nobody pounds on my fagmuffin but me!
Fuyuki: ...She’s not.
Keroro: I’ll save you hun!!!
Momoka: This is the last ball. MAKE LIKE A- *KONK, CRASH*
Keroro: Or not, I’m cool with that.
Tamama: Sarge...you came!
Keroro: *In Spanish, romantic* Three times already, my love! *Close-up* I’m gay. The end. *Smooth* Fuyuki I’d like to introduce you to my alcoholic beverage of choice...looove.
Tamama: I’m a pretty princess!
Fuyuki: Guys? Girl? Concussion?
Keroro and Tamama: Walk it off.
Tamama: And we’re not speaking until trees start dying. YYYEAAAAH.
Narrator: Back at the Hinata house.
Keroro: *In Spanish* I FUCKING LOVE CLEANING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! *Wall lights on fire*
*Post-Credits 1- Natsumi pondering in gym class*
Mrs. PMS: YOU SEE THAT, FAILURES OF TOMORROW? THAT’S WHAT THINKING LOOKS LIKE! I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT THAT...BUT YOU WON’T.
*Post-Credits 2- blank*
Keroro: Oh boy I’m gonna brush-brush my toothbrush!
Keroro: NOOOOO MY TOOTHBRUSH.
Keroro: No problem Fuyuki! ...The fuck?