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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 2R (script)

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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 2R

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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 2R

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Episode 1R

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Episode 3R

The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Several lines were rewritten during recording and/or editing.

Script

Outer space, looking at the earth

Narrator: Another peaceful, non-alien-ran day. Nice, isn't it?

*small pause*

Narrator: ...The hell is that?

*Zooms into Angol Mois*

Narrator: I’m going to learn not to ask questions about this show, aren’t I?

Angol: *talking in her sleep* Oh uncle, I can't wait to be in the same scene as you. Oh the things I want to do with you, and to you, and on you.

Narrator: That’s creepy.

*Screen goes black*

*Cue Title*

Narrator: The Hinata household. It's not like we are going to see this shot every episode.

Aki *sitting at table, being informative*: And THAT’S what a period really is.

*Camera changes to Fuyuki looking stupid and Natsumi looking pissy.*

Aki: I’m glad you understand.

*Cuts back to Aki*

Aki: Now, about giving the little frog a room…

Natsumi *very against the idea*: Mom! Did you forget what happened today already?

Aki: Oh, you were asking for it.

Natsumi: What?

Aki *tip-toeing around the question*: I love you too!

Keroro: Now, Aki, I’m sure that even the pink-haired virgin is okay with me having a room.

*Turns. Things go dark*

Keroro *dark voice*: Isn’t that right, Ms. Fuckface?

*Natsumi kicks him into wall*

Natsumi *angry/defensive*: I’m… WORKING ON IT!

Keroro: What? It’s not like it’s not true. Plus I can see up your ski-LGHLGHLGHLGH!

*Cut to Aki turning on basement light*

Aki: Here we are!

Fuyuki: Wow, Mom. Where did this basement come from?

Aki: *Giggle* You sound like your father when he left.

Fuyuki: Huh?

Keroro *Runs to door*: Oh boy! A doorknob!

*Opens door. Kids are surprised and amazed*

Keroro: This room is lame! I want to go back to the doorknob.

Natsumi: Mom, did you put all of this here?!

Aki: You know me. I like to plan ahead.

Fuyuki: Does that magazine say, “homo”…?

Aki: …No… it says “Nomo”.

Keroro: Are you sure? ‘Cause it looks like an “H”.

Aki: No, it’s an “N” on its side.

Keroro: Wouldn’t that be a “Z”?

Aki *defensive/pissy*: We can play this game all day!

Natsumi *Thinking jealously*: I don’t believe this… She never even put electricity in my room.

Keroro *pops in* I take it you’re jealous from all the stuff I got?

*Pops out and back on other side of the screen* What’s that Natsumi? I’m-A-Bitch-FACE?!

Narrator: Yes-She-IS.

Keroro: Hey, did you also get me this ghost?

*Omiyo appears. Aki and Natsumi look scared.*

Omiyo: Um… Derp?

*Aki and Natsumi run in place at the door.*

Natsumi *panicked and looking for an excuse to leave*: Oh, look at the time! I need to go buy some handcuffs- I mean fondle Saburo!

Aki: *same as Natsumi* Here, let me show you to the door!

*They run out. Keroro follows, then Omiyo*

Keroro *slightly panicked and quick-paced*: Wait no! Don’t leave me alone with Fuyuki!

Fuyuki: Oh, this day just gets better and… Toyota?

Narrator: The next day.

Fuyuki: Alright, meeting of the paranormal research club comes to order. Now for roll call.

*Voice fades out into background. Camera moves to Momoka staring in*

Narrator: This Peeping Tina is Momoka Nishizawa, an incredibly rich girl. It seems she has fallen head-over-heels for Fuyuki, heaven help the poor bastard.

Dark Momoka: I HEARD THAT!

Fuyuki: Is there someone real out there?

Momoka: Oh crap! I'd better hide! I know! I'll pretend that I'm a flesh statue!

*Fuyuki steps out of the room*

Momoka: STATUE!!!

Fuyuki: Uhh, hi Momoka.

Momoka thinks: Dammit! How did he see though my flawless stealth tactic?

Snake: You didn't use the box!

Momoka: Uh… hi Fuyuki…

Fuyuki: So… what's up?

Momoka: Oh ah...n-n-nothing- the ceiling, the-the sky, the clouds, th- damnit! *continues talking through Dark Momoka’s line*

Dark Momoka thinks: Come on, you idiot! Spill the beans, tell him how you feel!

Fart from the bag.

Dark Momoka thinks: Not those beans!

Momoka *While running away*: Sorry!

Fuyuki: Awkward...

Narrator: If we may freshen the air for a moment…

Keroro: Gee, it sure is boring around-*WHACK* Man, its boring around here. I know! I should go see Fuyuki for no reason at all! MapQuest, take me away!

Keroro: Alright I have a map and- Oooh Porn!

Narrator: Cutting ahead…

*Sky view of Hinata house*

Keroro: Alright let’s go!

...

Keroro: Fuck! I can't read maps!

Back at school

Momoka: Why? Why can't I just say I love him?

*Tamama comes out of the bag.*

Narrator: What is this coming out of the bag?

Tamama: Haha, I guess that’s what they call it nowadays.

Tamama: *ad-libbing whatever random shit*

Tamama: What’s your problem?

*Momoka goes dark*

Momoka: GrrrrrrrrAAAAAAGH!!!

*Tamama suddenly tied up*

Momoka: You ruined my chance to get close to Fuyuki… *Gets angry* Now I’m gonna beat the fagmuffin out of you with these BALLS I STOLE FROM THE GYM!!!

*Sudden cut to the gym*

Natsumi: Who took all the balls?

Random person: You don’t have any!

*Cuts to Sarge crouching down and hiding*

Keroro: Alright… as long as no cops see me.

Fuyuki: Hey Sarge!

*Keroro jumps*

Keroro: GAH! I swear to god I didn’t kill the hooker! Oh, it’s just you.

Fuyuki: What’re you doing at my school?

Keroro: Nnn… what am I doing in YOUR school! Haha. Booyah! Wait…

*Jumps down from fence. Kero Ball flies out of Fuyuki’s pocket*

Fuyuki: Huh?

Keroro: Hey, one of my crew members is around here! *Readies to go* Time to save it up, y’all!

*Every 5th volleyball hits Momoka in the face. Momoka grunts with every throw and grunts angrily when hit*

Tamama: Uh! Momoka! I think there’s a pattern here!

Momoka: I DON’T CARE! *DOOF*

Keroro: Wow, she has the worst aim of anyone I’ve ever seen.

Fuyuki: Yeah, but she has spirit.

Keroro: Word.

*Jumps out*

Keroro: Kero Ball, I choose you!

Robotic voice: Drop the pans, bitch.

Momoka: *Readying to throw the last ball and still very angry* But I’m wearing A SKIRT-

*BONK* *BUDUDUDUDUDUD*

Fuyuki *Pokes head out*: You should have took Snake’s advice.

*Tamama looks over at Sarge*

Tamama: Sarge… you came!

Keroro: Only when I see you!

Keroro *Sudden close-up* I’m gay. The end.

Keroro: Fuyuki, I’d like to introduce you to my jelly- I mean… Tamama…

Tamama: *Salutes* I’m a pretty princess!

*Fuyuki pulls out Momoka from the pans*

Momoka: *Dazed* Ha… you didn’t get the peanut butter…

Fuyuki: Yeah. Nice to meet you, Tamama.

Back home

Narrator: Back at the Hinata household…

Tamama: Who’s saying that, anyway?

Keroro: Oh, that’s just the Gundam models.

Awkward silence

Tamama: Anyway, aren’t we forgetting something?

Keroro: That’s right! I need to finish Final Fantasy VII!

Tamama: …You’re still playing that?

Keroro: Yeah, I can’t get past the title. What the hell does “press start” mean?

Tamama: No, I mean the rest of our crew.

Keroro: Oh yeah! Them. Once we find all three of them, we can take over the planet easily.

Kururu: Hey. Bill Nye. Mythbusters. See ya.

Giroro: I’m gonna put C4 in your toothpaste. Call me a pedo again; I dare you.

Dororo: Hey, Sarge... guys... I'm a ninja. *Trying to be cool* Eh? Eh?

Kururu and Giroro: No one cares about you, Zerodo.

Dororo whining: No… guys, It’s Dororo…

Kururu: Yeah, whatev- wait. When did you change it from Sven?

Dororo cries more.

Tamama: Where the hell am I?!

*Returns to Keroro and Tamama. Keroro starts cleaning*

Keroro: But right now I need to clean this place up. *Starts speaking in Spanish* ‘Jeez, look at this floor. It’s all dirty.’

*Awkward pause of Tamama’s face*

Keroro: ‘Tamama my love, will you please pass the water.’

Tamama: *Pause* Quatro?

*KERORU starts to play*

Keroro: Agáchese.

*Credits*

*PS: We love gay males, too.*

Tamama: Today’s episode is brought to you by cholesterol!

Keroro: Oh boy! I’m going to brush my toothbrush!

*Explosion*

Oh no! My toothbrush.

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