|Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 1|
Main episode article
Narrator: *Original clip* "In the skies above the suburbs of modern-day Jap-" *massive electrical interference like a TV going haywire*
Kululu: *Maniacal Laughter* *images of the original first two episodes disappearing, Dr Squid theme plays briefly*
Distant voice: "Incoming message from The Big Giant-!"
Keroro: Agh! Oh... hehe, I gotta stop sleeping on the *shows Fuyuki and Natsumi staring* fuck my ass.
*Cuts to him immediately tied up*
Natsumi: *Bossy* Alright, let’s get this over with. Who and what are you?
Keroro: Uh, I’m Keroro. I’m the house inspector… Good house.
Fuyuki: You look more like a house maid.
Natsumi: *Slightly pissy* Don’t engage it in conversation!
Fuyuki: It’s a talking frog!
Keroro: That’s “Mister” Sexy to you! Oh.
Natsumi: You know what? I have better things to be doing today than worrying about you.
Fuyuki: I don’t remember getting dressed today…
Natsumi: I have to deal with my friends for several hours, *Looks at Fuyuki* and you have a test to fail!
Todd: *Outside, flying in a hot air ballon* Come to Todd’s Toilets! The address is 4, 4-!” *Descends offscreen, loud crash is heard, Natsumi’s eye looks out for a moment*
Fuyuki: Hey Keroro, I'm gonna jack your stuff.
Keroro: *Cheerfully* That's how I make friends! *Sudden realization* HEY!!
*Fuyuki and Natsumi leave*
Keroro: Well I'm gonna jack your rope!
Keroro: YEAH! … Take THAT, you little shit!
*Cuts to Natsumi being chest-molested by Lesbo #1*
Lesbo 1: *Lovestruck* Oh Natsumi, I feel your spine in my face…
Lesbo 2: Want me to wash that when she’s done?
Natsumi: *Uncomfortable* Okay girls! I appreciate the affection, but this is getting uncomfortable.
Lesbo 2: *Creepy* Then slip into something more comfortable...
Lesbo 1: *wheeze*
*Cuts back to Keroro, still on the rope*
Keroro: …Yeah… my rope. Now to get out of this damned thing! *Snaps his back* AI COÑO!!! Ok, maybe not! Maybe not… Minor setback… I’m just gonna have to-
*Falls to the ground*
Keroro: …STILL MY ROPE… *sad* but I miss my Kero Ball…
*Cuts to Fuyuki, slamming in the ground*
Fuyuki: TEAR DOWN THIS SCHOOL! *Flies up and down hitting the rooftop, grunting*
Todd: *Flying in balloon in the background* Nobody’s buying my toilets! *Balloon explodes again, siren blares as he crashes*
*Cuts to Natsumi running, panting*
*Saburo appears but footsteps run past, Saburo looks over, sad piano music plays and single tear falls from his eyes*
*Quick cut away to Natsumi entering the house, takes one step, immediately gets caught in rope trap*
Natsumi: *To herself* Okay… pretty sure they didn’t follow me to my hous-SON OF A BITCH!
Keroro: *Serious Keroro* SLIIIIDE. So… what do you call a girl dangling by her legs?
Natsumi: You little asshole!
Keroro: *Jumps onto her legs* Not even close! I can’t have you getting in the way of my plans! *Lower* Plan. *Low* Orders… So I’m gonna feed you to this! *Pulls out monster*
Natsumi: Oh my god! What is that thing?!
Keroro: Evil Digestive Monster!…Frank…Open up!
*Keroro inexplicably flies into the door, Fuyuki floats in*
Fuyuki: Whoa. So there is a use for a "twat magnet".
Natsumi: Fuyuki, there you are! Quickly, let me down- *crash* *Muffled* You ass…
Fuyuki: *Muffled gibberish* you too, Sis!
Keroro: *Trying to get up, muffled* nnnn… nnnn… nnnn… I don’t feel like it.
Todd: *Outside* Our prices have flushed! *Large explosion*
*Keroro immediately jumps up and captures Fuyuki and Natsumi*
Fuyuki, Natsumi: Agh!
Keroro: Ha-ha! Who’da thought a toilet balloon would save my ass again! That was the day I knew I wanted to be a sergeant.
Fuyuki, Natsumi: *Confused* You’re a sergeant?
Keroro: *Sly* Didn’t I tell you? Ah’m an alien invader.
Fuyuki: I wanna be your friend too!
Keroro: *Happy* Okay! *Mood change* Wait! I’m not falling for that again!
*Motorcycle revs outside*
Aki: *Flabbergasted* Jesus Christ, Todd. Again?! Ugh…
Keroro: *In Spanish, nervous*…I’m the house inspector…?
*Immediately gets pulled into her breasts*
Aki: *Very flirty* Well you’d better be thorough! ~<3
Keroro: *Deadpan* Soy un major yes…
Fuyuki: Mom, please don’t hurt him! I think he can become my friend!
Keroro: *Turns around* For realzeyz?
Natsumi: *Deadpan, in disbelief* You’re fucking serious. That thing broke into our home, captured me and tied me up. And you want to be its friend.
Fuyuki: *Dreamy* Don’t you too, Natsumi?
Keroro: Well, gotta initiate you! *Knocks him on the head* URGH! Alright, I broke your spine, we’re friends now.
HQ: Hey Keroro, you there?
HQ: It’s headquarters.
Keroro: *Upbeat* Oh! Yes, Admiral! What can I do for you, sir?
HQ: Well, nothing. Just thought I’d tell you we’re leaving, uh… we brought you here to get rid of you. You and your reject platoon.
*Keroro turns to the others*
*Post-Credits 1 - Todd’s Toilets*
I know a guy his name is Todd
He sells his toilets to God
Don’t buy that George Albert crap!
Get a Todd Toilet!
Todd: *In the distance* Two for one sale!
*Post-Credits 2 – Tamama*
Tamama: Oh, my dear Sarge, I hope you find me soon. I’m so worried; I’ve lost contact with headquarters, I’ve lost contact with Giroro and Kululu… *deep breath* and her hair is spiky… AND BLUE!!! *Sniff* I can’t find my ass…