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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 1R

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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 1R

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The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Several lines were rewritten during recording and/or editing.

Script

Sgt. Frog Abridged Episode 1 Script

Line 101 - Narrator: In the skies above the quiet suburbs of modern-day Japan, evil was plotting destruction. Golden Saucers parted the clouds, and an alien race presented itself to Earth with a blast of fire and chaos. The first UFO opened to reveal that an alien monster had fallen out of the ship.

Line 102 - Keroro: OH GOD MY FACE!

Line 103 - Narrator: The hell? Is that right? Oh, THIS is the script, ok…

Line 104 - Narrator: *Ahem*

Line 105 - Narrator: In a quiet Japanese suburb, an alien frog tripped over a vacuum cleaner.

Line 106 - Keroro: OH GOD MY FACE!

Line 107 - Narrator: What…

*Cue Intro*

*Fuyuki has a weird dream about alien frogs trying to conquer the earth and then he wakes up.*

Line 108 - Fuyuki: AHHHH! NOCTURNAL EMISSION!!!

*Natsumi stares at him*

Line 109 - Fuyuki: Oh hey Natsumi are you hard for murder too?

Line 110 - Natsumi: For the last time no! Now get out of bed, its time for school!

Line 111 - Fuyuki: Gimme five more minutes I’ll be dry by then.

Line 112 - Natsumi: (We’ll see about that…) LOOK RULE 34!

Line 113 - Fuyuki: WHERE!?!? DOES IT HAVE KONATA?

*The wallpaper starts to peel off*

Line 114 - Kids: Huh?

Line 115 - Keroro: Konata….that….is……HOT!

*They stare at each other for a while*

Line 116 - Keroro: While I appreciate you pekoponians taste for Lolita, I’m afraid I have to-

*Five seconds later*

Line 117 - Keroro: FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKK!

Line 118 - Natsumi: So what do we do with it?

Line 119 - Fuyuki: Let’s eat its legs and watch it dance!

Line 120 - Keroro: Gero!?

Line 121 - Natsumi: No we can’t, we’re going to be late for school!

Line 122 - Fuyuki: At least I can get dressed quickly! RUN!

*Keroro is left alone, tied to the ceiling*

Line 123 - Keroro: Gerogerogero, I…..have….the Po-Huoagh!

*Keroro spazzes out for a bit and the rope breaks*

Line 124 - Keroro: GerogerogerogerogeroGerogerogerogerogero…….Wheres my Kero Ball!?

Line 125 - Keroro: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*Cuts straight to kids*

Line 126 - Fuyuki: Oh man I can’t wait to see what this does!

*Fuyuki presses a button*

Line 127 - Fuyuki: Huh? Whats 4Chan?

*Fuyuki presses another button*

Line 128 - Robotic Voice: Anti-Gravity Mo-fo.

*Fuyuki presses another button*

Line 129 - Fuyuki: Oh boy a gift card!

*Fuyuki looks at the gift card*

Line 130 - Fuyuki: Todd’s Toilets…

*Fuyuki presses another button and it makes an alarming sound shouting Fuck All Ya’ll! This causes headquarters to retreat.*

*Fuyuki presses another button that has Dan Green saying “Hi I’m Dan Green.” Then it cuts to Natsumi immediately.*

Line 131 - Lesbo #1: Exfoliate your back my love?

Line 132 - Natsumi: What?

Line 133 - Lesbo #2: Can you exfoliate my back Natsumi?

Line 134 - Natsumi: No I only exfoliate for cute boys.

*Lesbo #1 has a very sad face*

*The scene cuts to Natsumi running back home and she sees Saburo*

Line 135 - Natsumi: (He still hasn’t bathed yet, what a rebel!)

Line 136 - *Saburo looks up and thinks “Rape Face” Natsumi blushes and runs off.*

Line 137 - Narrator: Well it looks like it won’t be rape after all!

*Natsumi runs back to the screen*

Line 138 - Natsumi: Hey I’m only hot for consensual sex!

Line 139 - Narrator: That poor girl is in denial, nobody is hot for consensual sex!

Line 140 - *She gets home opens the door and takes a step, she is suddenly hanging upside down and screams.*

Line 141 - Natsumi: What did I just get done saying!?

Line 142 - Keroro: Gerogerogero!

Line 143 - Natsumi: Stupid fucking frog! This is not one of those hentais where the girl is helpless! Hell, this isn’t a hentai at all!…Why did I say that!?

Line 144 - Keroro: Well I know a certain frog who would love this situation, but now its time for my little friend the R-A-E-P squid! The male model! I’m not really sure what R-A-E-P means but I’m sure as hell going to use it on you!

*A little note that says with a ding, Rule 34 Allows Endless Penetration*

*Keroro almost attacks Natsumi with the squid but gets Gattling Gun’d in the face.*

Line 145 - Natsumi: Oh Fuyuki thank god! How are you floating like that?

Line 146 - *Fuyuki goes into a techno babble.*

Line 147 - Keroro: Is he always like this?

Line 148 - Natsumi: Yeah unfortunately, you should see how he acts after he watches Mobile Suit Gundam G.

Line 149 - Keroro: Oh yeah! I like that show!

Line 150 - Fuyuki: And that’s how I got my first period!

*Fuyuki lets Natsumi down and Keroro throws two snakes that wrap around the kids. Keroro takes the Kero Ball away from Fuyuki*

Line 151 - Keroro: Gimme that you idiot! Gerogerogerogero… I’m not the only one on this frogulon forsaken planet!

Line 152 - Natsumi: That name sucks!

Line 153 - Keroro: There are four more soldiers in my platoon! One is a pedophile veteran, one is a sex…offender or something I don’t know, one is a mad scientist, and the other is a crazy ass assassin!

Line 154 - Fuyuki: Oh my god Mom came in!

Line 155 - Keroro: Oooowhat? Oh my god the boobies!

*Aki grabs Keroro and presses him against her breasts.*

Line 156 - Aki: Oh dear god... He is sooo cute! I must have him for my new manga because for some reason I have to come up with a new character before next week and this frog will do.

Line 157 - Keroro: As much as I appreciate your E-Cup breasts, you’re suffocating me…bleh.

Line 158 - Fuyuki: Is he alright?

Line 159 - Aki: Its ok kids! I can do CPR with my breasts!

*Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky*

Line 160 - Keroro: GASP! Huh boobs? Am I in heaven?

Line 161 - Fuyuki: No don’t develop an attraction to my mom! I want to be your friennnnnnnnd!

*Keroro jumps out of Aki’s breasts while leaving something green behind and lands on Fuyuki*

Line 162 - Keroro: Friennnnnnnndship!.....Nah just kidding! I’m totally gonna enslave you all hahahaha! Huh? Oh hey hang I got a call from HQ.

*Beep*

Line 163 - HQ: Hey SARGE we got your Fuck All Ya’ll from earlier, yeah we know when we’re not wanted. We’re out of here later! Alleoupah!

*Boom*

Line 164 - Keroro: So where do I sleep?

Line 165 - *Credits, Todd’s Toilets ad with fan-kerons*

Line 166 - Giroro: Dude, I’m not even in this episode and I’m already being made fun of…

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