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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 19 (script)

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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 19

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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 19

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Sgt Frog Abridged: Reset

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Episode 20

The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Lines may have been rewritten during recording and/or editing.

Script

*Open with shot of the Hinata house*

Narrator: It was the morning after the universe was reset, and Fuyuki was doing some organizing.

Fuyuki: So what was the meeting for, Sarge?

Keroro: *Casual* Oh you know, mission briefing, that kinda thing.

*Keroro is sitting in a block shape*

Narrator: And Keroro was learning what it's like to be a literal piece of shit.

Keroro: *Deadpan, slightly low* Giroro wasn’t happy about it… *Cheerful* But hey! Once I get the feeling back in my everything, we’re gonna go see Dororo’s mom! Who’s also my mom!

Fuyuki: She doesn’t remember you, does she?

Keroro: EEEEee~!

Narrator: Yes, everything was looking up for the Keroro Platoon, which is your cue to grab something to eat and watch it shit itself inside out.

Announcer: The train inbound from Keron will arrive in five minutes. For our Ethiopian travelers, click click pop snap click click five minutes.

Dororo: Here we go guys. We’ll all get to be untraumatized together.

Giroro: All part of the healing process, babe. Just remember to breathe when we get back in space.

Tamama: Do you remember what she’s like, Sarge?

Keroro: *To himself* Oh man, let’s see if I can remember…

*Flashback to Mom headbanging to Dillinger Escape Plan, cuts back after a few seconds*

Keroro: *Matter-of-fact* Well she had a chronic headache.

Giroro: And now so do I.

Dororo: Sorry!

Keroro: *Serious* I just hope when she sees how I’ve grown into such a handsome former mass murderer, she will accept me back into her family.

Tamama: Your ego keeps me warm at night.

Dororo: They keep me warm! Sorry I didn’t hear what you said.

Announcer: The train inbound from Keron has been delayed by unforeseen circumstances. It’s going in a completely different direction. Also, if there is a Mr. Do-rah-ro on the platform, you have an emergency message from your father: “Ha-ha-ha, hiss ha-ha, I did your mom ha-ha-hordes, typo.”

Dororo: What?! …VIPER…!

Raiden: *Over intercom* DUN, DUN, DUUU-

*Cuts to ships chasing train*

Kululu: My hacking of the train controls have failed. Something is interfering with my signal, and I don't give enough of a fuck to figure out what.

Keroro: Alright Platoon- Dororo, what the fuck.

Dororo: *Freaking out* GUYS, I REALLY DON’T HAVE IT IN ME TO SEE MY PARENTS.

Giroro: Oh my god.

Dororo: I NEVER TOLD HER I GOT MARRIED; I NEVER TOLD HER I WENT IN THE MILITARY; I NEVER TOLD HER I LEFT!

Giroro: She’d figure it out, wouldn’t she?

Dororo: YOU DON’T KNOW HER LIKE I DO. *Singing “What a Way to Go” in background nearly incoherently*

Keroro: *To Kululu* Now listen here, Mustard Brown! Get us as close to that train as you can, because I need to impress my mom before she dies, damnit!

Kululu: It's Buster Brown- ah fuck it...

*Cut to them entering the train*

Keroro: *Hums the Pink Panther theme* Du-dun. Du-dun… *etc*

Raiden: Sneaking music! *Gets hit with spinning revolver* OW!

*Metal Gear alarm*

Ocelot: Ha! You’re mine!

Keroro: WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Tamama: WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

*Snake, Raiden and Ocelot run across the bottom of the screen*

Giroro: Spoiler alert: I’m not helping! Retreat!

Keroro: No! I have to face it to be awesome!

*Cut to Kululu, gunfire is heard over intercom*

Kululu: Sounds like Viper screwed their system up good. *Surprised* Wait a second…that’s a Keronian signal…

*Cut to wall, Ocelot pops up*

Ocelot: Shit, I lost them! *Gets hit in face with paper wad, whiny* Fwwaaaaagh! *Leaves*

Keroro: Well we got past the guns. Now how do we proceed?

Giroro: Forward through the train?

Keroro: No, no, it can’t be that easy.

Giroro: It is that easy. It’s a train. They’re long tubes.

Keroro: That’s what they’d like you to think!

Giroro: Who?!

Keroro: The train police?

Kululu: Guys, not to interrupt this stupid conversation, but there are Keronian and Viper life signals up ahead.

Dororo: Oh no, please don’t be my parents please don’t be my parents please don’t-

Mom: Ziggy?!

Dororo: Ugh…mmmMom! That was not a groan of anguish!

Mom: Hello dear! What was it you’ve been doing? Law school or something?

Dororo: I’m a ninja, mom.

Mom: Does that pay bills or what?

Tamama: *Whispering* Go on Sarge, say hi!

Keroro: *Bashful* Uhh, heheh… hi ma’am. I’m your son, and this is my polite voice. You impressed? I know I am!

Mom: *Gasp* Keroro! Is it really you?

Dororo: *Wigging out* Oh my FUCKING GOD she remembers his name…!!!

Keroro: *Dramatic* Yes mother, I’ve returned to you to ask for my place back in your family. And to forgive you for never coming to my baseball games I never had. So let’er rip.

Mom: I never even realized you were my long lost son! I did a lot of drugs in those days. And now. But back then, too.

Keroro: *Awkward* Ah! Good to know I was a crack baby.

*Giroro notices Viper*

Giroro: There he is! *Jumps up, points gun* Thought you could just sit there politely, huh?! Well listen up, DAD- wait a minute…

Viperess: Is that anyway to greet your grandmother-in-law?

Giroro: *Slightly freaked out* Grand- mother-?! Well I already threatened you, so I’m sticking to it!

Dororo: *Quickly* Guys, I think there’s something outside away from my mom; I’m gonna go check it out. *Jumps out*

Keroro: Wait a minute Dororo! Refresh my memory of things our mom likes!

Announcer: Refreshments requested!

Keroro, Giroro, Mom: Refreshments?

Tamama: Click pop squeaky?

Robot: O beverage-beverage-beverage, You wanna have a beverage, I hope you want a beverage, ‘Cause here’s a diet beverage. *In the background* O beverage-beverage-beverage, click click pop whistle beverage, have a racist beverage, it’s the best kind of beverage.

Tamama: Those party carts seem rather pushy…

Robots: PARTY!

Keroro: *Commanding* Alright, back it up Party Carts!

Robots: PARTY!

Robot in back: Woo-oooh.

Keroro: Or I’m gonna make Giroro teach you a lesson!

*Running in to robots*

Robot: When it’s time to beverage, we will beverage hard. *CRASH*

*”Party Hard” kicks in, cuts to Dororo cutting the ticket robot*

Robot: You don’t have a license to paaartyyyyy… *Sparkler comes out of its head*

Viper: I am surprised to see that you have made it this far.

Dororo: There you are…

Viper: But this is the end of the line...detective....

Dororo: …I'm your son.

Viper: Your partner said that too!

Dororo: Dad…

Viper: Before I blew him up.

Dororo: We’re the only frogs!

Viper: And made him swallow his legs. Airline food, huh? We’re blowing up a plane with it. That’ll be funny.

Dororo: Dad, I think you’ve been breathing too much space air.

Viper: Can we please go inside?!

*Cut to Giroro holding back a door while it’s being knocked*

Giroro: Urgh, Kululu! *Knock* Where do we go from here?! *Knock knock*

Kululu *over intercom, sarcastic*: Well seeing as a train is a tube…

Keroro: *Mouth half full of food* Alright, don't just stand there! Help me think of something leader-y to do?

Giroro: What are you doing?

Keroro: *Mouth half full* I'm binge eating, okay?! Try to be more sensitive to my feelings, om nom!

Poyon: *Cheerful and exuberant* Don’t worry! I’ll show you the way! *Appearance flourish* Space detective Poyon, at your service!

Keroro: *Mouth half full, cocky* Oh my god, don’t you just look the dumbest, omyomyom!

Tamama: Show us the way, tacky bitch!

Giroro: I like your boobs…They’re pretty cool.

Poyon: *Annoyed disbelief* It’s you guys…

Robots: I HOPE YOUR BOOBS WANT A BEVERAGE!

*Slice, slice, slice*

Robot: Pour me ooon theee roooocksss…

Giroro: What- the- hell- how long have you been able to do that?!

Mom: Long enough to know you boys can’t take yourselves. Just wait until Viper hears about this.

Giroro: What? I thought he was behind all this.

Mom: That big softy? He wouldn’t hurt a fly. Unless it had money.

*Cut to Viper*

Viper: Huaaaaagh!

Dororo: Dad, just tell me what you did to the train so I can put you out of your misery.

Viper: What I did? This wasn’t me- I can’t hack a train. In fact, I was just heading to the conductor’s to see what happened.

Dororo: Aren’t you delirious?

Viper: Aren’t you gullible? *Slightly chuckling* Guh- come on!

*Cut to Viper shooting out the door*

Viper: Hands up or I’ll choo choo shoot you! …Wait, where is he…?

Dororo: Um, shouldn’t there be someone flying the train?

Shurara *Over intercom*: How about that? The neophyte isn’t stupid after all.

*Shurara symbol appears on monitor*

Shurara: Greetings, family Viper. Do you hear my voice? Good, then that means the speakers are working. Go me.

Dororo: I assume you’re the one behind this?

Shurara: Oh, it wasn’t my ass. But yes, I did. And I’m glad you and the whole Keroro Platoon came to investigate, seeing as I’ve rigged the whole train to explode. That simplifies things.

Viper and Dororo: What?!

Grandpa: Not on my watch, sister!

Shurara: What the- they’re offline! How did you do that?

Grandpa: With a dollar.

Viper: Wait, DAD?!

Dororo: *Excited* Grandpa!

Grandpa: That’s right: I have been on the train so long that I’ve become the train! Such is the circle of life.

Shurara: Rrrrr…once I figure out how the fuck that’s even possible, the Shurara Corps are coming for you personally! Two at a time! In even intervals!

Mekeke: Sir, that puts us at a tactical disadvantage.

Shurara: Oh, well then ignore my threat, but fear it.

Mekeke: Alright, I’m hanging up the call now.

Giroro: Hey! Get away from your son, my father-in-law!

Dororo: No! Honey, please don’t complicate things!

Viperess: Viper!

Viper: Son!

Keroro: SON?! What the hell is wrong with your family?!

Viper: It’s a big family reunion! Bastard sons…mom son…dad train…

Keroro: You know what- I don’t want in your family anymore!

Poyon: Family may be weird, sir, but it’s family all the same.

Giroro: Who the hell are you?

Dororo: Ugh… The Shurara Corps…?

*Credits*

*Post Credits 1 – Poyon*

Giroro: *To the tune of “Part of Your World* Look at your boobs/Aren’t they neat/Aren’t you glad/That your life is complete/When I look in my pants/I wish I didn’t have/Anything/’Cause I’ve got gadgets and gizmos apenis/I’ve got all these man parts but what for/I’ve had this thingamabob since I was 20/But who cares/No big deal/I’m a whooooooore!

Announcer: Whores requested!

*Post-Credits 2*

Shurara: Do you think they feared it?

Mekeke: Theyyyy were quaking in their metaphorical boots.

Shurara: Neophyte! I don’t even know what that means! I just know when I read it, it gave me goosebumps.

Mekeke: My goose was thoroughly bumped.

Shurara: *Fast* Nnnnnnget back to kneeling and stop looking at me.

Mekeke: Oh, sorry.

Shurara: Right, Mekeke. You and Putata shall lead the charge against the Keroro Platoon.

Mekeke: No prisoners, sir?

Shurara: None. After what Keroro’s done to me, I owe them no quarter.

Mekeke: Or dime?

Shurara: Shit, let me check my wallet. *Shuffling in a wallet* Eh, you and Putata move out tomorrow. I’ll get back to you on the dime thing…

*Pause*

Shurara: *Sigh* Ugh…This job’s too hard. I need to stop sucking.

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