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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 14

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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 14

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The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Lines may have been rewritten during recording and/or editing.

Script

*Pans up to Koyuki’s house*

Koyuki: *Cheerful* Dororo! I’m back from school- *Deadpan* oh my god, I just got home.

Dororo: *Sobbing singing, blood trickling down wall from forehead* Let’s hear for the boy, let’s hear it for MY MAAAAN!

Koyuki: *Tender* Hey now, what happened…

Dororo: *Sobbing* Keroro made me play strip solitaire by myself.

Koyuki: You lost?

Dororo: By forfeit. My conscience hung itself.

Koyuki: *Flabbergasted* …How?!

Dororo: AGHYEEEEGH~!

Koyuki: *Friendly again* If it makes you feel better, my life doesn’t suck. My childhood was pretty cooool. And I was adopted!

Dororo: Don’t bring that up…

Koyuki: You’re adopted?!

Dororo: …Am I…?!

Koyuki: *Dreamlike* Here. Let me tell you a story about my friend Mukuro.

*Cut to Child Koyuki and Mukuro giggling while spinning around; Mukuro is deadpan and robotic. Cuts back*

Koyuki: The eeeend!

Dororo: …Can I be in your next story?

Koyuki: I know! You remember when we first met? You where there? Therefore I don’t have to tell you the whole story again?

Dororo: Who’s Mukuro…?

Koyuki: *Breathes, irritated sigh*

*Flashback to Koyuki lying in flowers*

Mukuro: Koyuki, get up. You’re making gravity sad.

Koyuki: *Half-asleep* Mmm, gravity can go fuck itself- *sits up* Oh, Mukuro! *Cheerful* I was just making you a present!

Mukuro: Huh…? …Wow. Took you an hour to do this, huh?

Koyuki: A day, more like! What do you think?

Mukuro: *Deep inhale* It’s cute. It makes my blood flow. Let’s go jump.

*Large jump*

Mukuro: That was fun.

Zeroyasha: BARK!

Koyuki: *Pumped* So what do you wanna do now?

Mukuro: I can’t decide. But I have an idea.

*Cut, Breeze*

Mukuro: This is my thinking tree. I come here to think. I'm thinking right now.

Koyuki: What’re ya thinkin’ about?

Mukuro: …Band aids.

Koyuki: *Sigh*

Mukuro: I have a wacky idea.

*Cuts to waterfall*

Mukuro: *Relatively dramatic* Beyond this waterfall, Koyuki, lies the outside world. Our clan is forbidden from passing this point. But they put rocks here. … They were asking for it. *Jumps*

*Gets shocked by charm*

Mukuro: *Flat yell* AAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Koyuki: Mukuro!!!

*Clan leader suddenly appears*

Clan Leader: *Dramatic* Don’t. She knew the rules. They are not to be broken-

Koyuki: *Yelling irritated* Fucking old people!

*Jumps down, saves Mukuro*

*Mukuro lying down*

Koyuki: Mukuro. Get up. Gravity is making water go down, and that’s- not- good-… I- think…?

Mukuro: Agh! Koyuki?

Koyuki: *Cute* Hiiii!

Mukuro: What happened?

Koyuki: You fell! And I caught you! Like tears on a hobo!

Mukuro: *Smiles* My arteries are clapping. Thanks Koyuki.

*Cuts to Zeroro in bear trap*

Zeroro: Stooory ooooof my LIIIIIIFE!!!

*Koyuki suddenly appears*

Koyuki: *Cheery* Hi! What are you up to?

Zeroro: My mom told me singing a song makes everything all better!

Koyuki: *Still cheery* Did she also tell you to break your leg?

Zeroro: …That was my dad…

*Koyuki bandages his leg*

Zeroro: I can’t thank you enough, Ms. Koyuki. I mean, I still have a hole in my leg, but…

Koyuki: Don’t mention it! But my friend Mukuro says I should spray it so it doesn’t get infected.

Zeroro: Certainly, but…those are my eyes- *ksssh* AAAAAAAAGH!!!

Mukuro: What are you doing to those pants?

Koyuki: *Gasp* Mukuro! Meet my new friend, Zeroro!

*Zeroro’s eyes are bloodshot*

Zeroro: Oh, you girls look cute in red!

Koyuki: *Softer* He says he’s lost his direction in life, and I think he can find a new one by joining our clan.

Zeroro: I’m an assassin, if that helps.

Mukuro: You know what I think?

Koyuki: What?

*Cuts back to tree*

Koyuki: *Sigh*

Mukuro: Sure.

*Dramatic music, them standing in a field*

Dororo: From this day forward, I am Zeroro no more. Dororo shall stand and take his place… hidden in the shadows…

*Cuts to clan meeting*

Clan leader: Thanks to your little friend’s hide-and-seek game, half of our clan is dead.

Koyuki and Dororo: Marco!

Mukuro: Shut up.

Clan leader: It is with great regret that I must disband our noble people. Brothers, sisters, the outside world awaits you. Thanks for NOTHING!

*Ninjas disappear*

Dororo: Oh, he didn’t need to thank me.

Mukuro: Well Koyuki, I guess this is goodbye. Think you can handle a life in the real world?

Koyuki: Nope! But I’m expecting to just pull it off ‘cause I’m stupidly lucky.

Mukuro: …Do you even know what you just said?

Koyuki: …Gravity?

Mukuro: *Loud sigh, fades away*

Koyuki: *Narration as she is seen crying* That was the last time I saw Mukuro and my clan. And I still miss them to this day…

*Fades to night at the shack*

Dororo: Koyuki, wake up.

Koyuki: *Sleepy* Hmm…?

Dororo: You fell asleep halfway through. I want to know how it ends. Do I make it?

Koyuki: *Sleepy* No I made the bear trap… *Snaps out of it* Oh Dororo, listen. *Serious* I know your friends give you a hard time, but I know at least one of them has to actually care about you.

Dororo: Only one.

Koyuki: Exactly! I mean, I know you’re back with your friends again, but you always come home so sad. I just think, even with what they put you through, try to hold on to them. The people who matter to you aren’t going to be there forever.

Dororo: Koyuki, have you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome?

Koyuki: No, why?

Tamama: Dororo!

Keroro: Dorodo!

Tamama: Hiiiii!

Keroro: Heeey, I wasn’t gonna apologize, but Giroro made me. So, uh, hegh-hegh, Dororo. Or Dorodo- I remembered your name, oh my god.

Dororo: Because I think I’m cured.

Keroro: Put ‘er there! Up high! …In your eye socket, okay!

*Credits*

*Post-Credits 1*

Koyuki: Can I hug your arm, Natsumi?

Natsumi: Since you’re actually ASKING, now.

Koyuki: Ohhhh youuu. You still smell like muffins!

Mukuro: These are my thinking glasses. I don’t wear them to think. Yeah, got you there.

*Post-Credits 2- black screen, counter fades in*

Dororo: I know what you’re going to say, but I’ve given this a lot of thought…and…I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. I’ve always been alone or out of place. I’ve never felt like I’ve belonged before, but I do now. I don’t need this job to be happy, I don’t need my family’s care to be happy, I don’t need Keroro’s approval to be happy. You being there for me makes me happy. And I have something very important to ask you… Can we be best friends forever?

Giroro: …You can’t be serious…

*Counter counts down a day, bridal chorus plays on kazoo*

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