|Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 14|
Main episode article
*Pans up to Koyuki’s house*
Koyuki: *Cheerful* Dororo! I’m back from school- *Deadpan* oh my god, I just got home.
Dororo: *Sobbing singing, blood trickling down wall from forehead* Let’s hear for the boy, let’s hear it for MY MAAAAN!
Koyuki: *Tender* Hey now, what happened…
Dororo: *Sobbing* Keroro made me play strip solitaire by myself.
Koyuki: You lost?
Dororo: By forfeit. My conscience hung itself.
Koyuki: *Flabbergasted* …How?!
Koyuki: *Friendly again* If it makes you feel better, my life doesn’t suck. My childhood was pretty cooool. And I was adopted!
Dororo: Don’t bring that up…
Koyuki: You’re adopted?!
Dororo: …Am I…?!
Koyuki: *Dreamlike* Here. Let me tell you a story about my friend Mukuro.
*Cut to Child Koyuki and Mukuro giggling while spinning around; Mukuro is deadpan and robotic. Cuts back*
Koyuki: The eeeend!
Dororo: …Can I be in your next story?
Koyuki: I know! You remember when we first met? You where there? Therefore I don’t have to tell you the whole story again?
Dororo: Who’s Mukuro…?
Koyuki: *Breathes, irritated sigh*
*Flashback to Koyuki lying in flowers*
Mukuro: Koyuki, get up. You’re making gravity sad.
Koyuki: *Half-asleep* Mmm, gravity can go fuck itself- *sits up* Oh, Mukuro! *Cheerful* I was just making you a present!
Mukuro: Huh…? …Wow. Took you an hour to do this, huh?
Koyuki: A day, more like! What do you think?
Mukuro: *Deep inhale* It’s cute. It makes my blood flow. Let’s go jump.
Mukuro: That was fun.
Koyuki: *Pumped* So what do you wanna do now?
Mukuro: I can’t decide. But I have an idea.
Mukuro: This is my thinking tree. I come here to think. I'm thinking right now.
Koyuki: What’re ya thinkin’ about?
Mukuro: …Band aids.
Mukuro: I have a wacky idea.
*Cuts to waterfall*
Mukuro: *Relatively dramatic* Beyond this waterfall, Koyuki, lies the outside world. Our clan is forbidden from passing this point. But they put rocks here. … They were asking for it. *Jumps*
*Gets shocked by charm*
Mukuro: *Flat yell* AAAAAAAAAAAAH.
*Clan leader suddenly appears*
Clan Leader: *Dramatic* Don’t. She knew the rules. They are not to be broken-
Koyuki: *Yelling irritated* Fucking old people!
*Jumps down, saves Mukuro*
*Mukuro lying down*
Koyuki: Mukuro. Get up. Gravity is making water go down, and that’s- not- good-… I- think…?
Mukuro: Agh! Koyuki?
Koyuki: *Cute* Hiiii!
Mukuro: What happened?
Koyuki: You fell! And I caught you! Like tears on a hobo!
Mukuro: *Smiles* My arteries are clapping. Thanks Koyuki.
*Cuts to Zeroro in bear trap*
Zeroro: Stooory ooooof my LIIIIIIFE!!!
*Koyuki suddenly appears*
Koyuki: *Cheery* Hi! What are you up to?
Zeroro: My mom told me singing a song makes everything all better!
Koyuki: *Still cheery* Did she also tell you to break your leg?
Zeroro: …That was my dad…
*Koyuki bandages his leg*
Zeroro: I can’t thank you enough, Ms. Koyuki. I mean, I still have a hole in my leg, but…
Koyuki: Don’t mention it! But my friend Mukuro says I should spray it so it doesn’t get infected.
Zeroro: Certainly, but…those are my eyes- *ksssh* AAAAAAAAGH!!!
Mukuro: What are you doing to those pants?
Koyuki: *Gasp* Mukuro! Meet my new friend, Zeroro!
*Zeroro’s eyes are bloodshot*
Zeroro: Oh, you girls look cute in red!
Koyuki: *Softer* He says he’s lost his direction in life, and I think he can find a new one by joining our clan.
Zeroro: I’m an assassin, if that helps.
Mukuro: You know what I think?
*Cuts back to tree*
*Dramatic music, them standing in a field*
Dororo: From this day forward, I am Zeroro no more. Dororo shall stand and take his place… hidden in the shadows…
*Cuts to clan meeting*
Clan leader: Thanks to your little friend’s hide-and-seek game, half of our clan is dead.
Koyuki and Dororo: Marco!
Mukuro: Shut up.
Clan leader: It is with great regret that I must disband our noble people. Brothers, sisters, the outside world awaits you. Thanks for NOTHING!
Dororo: Oh, he didn’t need to thank me.
Mukuro: Well Koyuki, I guess this is goodbye. Think you can handle a life in the real world?
Koyuki: Nope! But I’m expecting to just pull it off ‘cause I’m stupidly lucky.
Mukuro: …Do you even know what you just said?
Mukuro: *Loud sigh, fades away*
Koyuki: *Narration as she is seen crying* That was the last time I saw Mukuro and my clan. And I still miss them to this day…
*Fades to night at the shack*
Dororo: Koyuki, wake up.
Koyuki: *Sleepy* Hmm…?
Dororo: You fell asleep halfway through. I want to know how it ends. Do I make it?
Koyuki: *Sleepy* No I made the bear trap… *Snaps out of it* Oh Dororo, listen. *Serious* I know your friends give you a hard time, but I know at least one of them has to actually care about you.
Dororo: Only one.
Koyuki: Exactly! I mean, I know you’re back with your friends again, but you always come home so sad. I just think, even with what they put you through, try to hold on to them. The people who matter to you aren’t going to be there forever.
Dororo: Koyuki, have you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome?
Koyuki: No, why?
Keroro: Heeey, I wasn’t gonna apologize, but Giroro made me. So, uh, hegh-hegh, Dororo. Or Dorodo- I remembered your name, oh my god.
Dororo: Because I think I’m cured.
Keroro: Put ‘er there! Up high! …In your eye socket, okay!
Koyuki: Can I hug your arm, Natsumi?
Natsumi: Since you’re actually ASKING, now.
Koyuki: Ohhhh youuu. You still smell like muffins!
Mukuro: These are my thinking glasses. I don’t wear them to think. Yeah, got you there.
*Post-Credits 2- black screen, counter fades in*
Dororo: I know what you’re going to say, but I’ve given this a lot of thought…and…I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. I’ve always been alone or out of place. I’ve never felt like I’ve belonged before, but I do now. I don’t need this job to be happy, I don’t need my family’s care to be happy, I don’t need Keroro’s approval to be happy. You being there for me makes me happy. And I have something very important to ask you… Can we be best friends forever?
Giroro: …You can’t be serious…
*Counter counts down a day, bridal chorus plays on kazoo*