|Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 13|
Main episode article
Fuyuki: Huh? Ugh… what is it Sarge?
Keroro: Read me a bedtime story. *Fuyuki looks outside* Hey, don’t question me.
Fuyuki: Not right now, Sarge; I need to get ready for trick-or-treating tonight.
Keroro: Yeah, yeah, drugs are great. Read me a story.
Fuyuki: Hey! A monster book! I could use this for costume ideas. *Opens book* I’m gonna go as… *stops on Medusa* a book.
Keroro: Buddy, this is the worst story ever, let me tell you.
*Cuts to base*
Keroro: But this whole free candy thing… I could take a bite outta that!
Mois: This holiday is just enchanting!
Raiden *as Snake*: I’m going to a pie-eating contest. I’ll be there crust in time!
Kululu: I shot a guy!
Giroro: Alright, it’s been over a year; I can’t be the only one wondering why we’re doing this.
Keroro: Come on, everyone needs a day off.
Giroro: Every day has been a day off.
Keroro: And don’t you get tired of that? By the way, where's Tamama?
*Cuts to Tamama in candy pile*
Keroro: Well if she’s trapped somewhere, she can’t hurt herself. Now, pun with us Giroro!
Giroro: Oh god, if I hear another pun I’m gonna kill someone.
Keroro: Come on, Giroro. Deliver the punchline!
*Pause, screen goes black, loud punch*
Keroro: *Delirious* That’s a punch dot, you amateur!
*Cuts to Momoka walking with Fuyuki*
Momoka: *Giggly, dopey* Well, seeing as you’re my laffy taffy for the evening… *mumbles incoherently in background*
Fuyuki: Oh great, she’s gonna eat me.
*Turns, sees Alisa*
Fuyuki: Staring contest, GO!
*Pause, Alisa disappears*
Momoka: What are you looking at, Fuyuki?
*Cuts to Alisa’s house at night*
Alisa: That boy’s a tough one, but there’s something about him…I must have him for myself…
Nebula: That shouldn’t be too hard, Dear. Did you see that girl he was with?
Alisa: It was like he didn’t even know she was there.
Nebula: That boy is completely oblivious. I bet people lie to him all the time and he never notices. He’s different from the rest… He’s an American.
Alisa: Then how did he figure out my weakness so quickly?
Nebula: What weakness?
Halloween guy: I’m the Halloween guy!
People: YAY HALLOWEEN GUY!
Keroro: HALLOWEEN GUY ROCKS! *Cuts to him* Alriiight, so everyone knows the plan? We’re gonna take a can of soda…
*Cuts to Koyuki and Natsumi*
Natsumi: Ah, I love Halloween!
Koyuki: And your costume is so pretty! But you’re kinda showing up your friend Mois.
Natsumi: Mois? *Sees Keroro, yells out* Hey, Fagula!
Keroro: WHERE?! Okay, I haven’t done a goddamn thing!
Natsumi: *Pissy* Really. Then what are you planning to do?
Keroro: Hey now! Planning?! Do you know who you’re talking to?!
Giroro: Don’t worry, we’re not doing anything. Just embarrassing ourselves.
Natsumi: I’m guessing you took that and ran with it…?
Kululu: You have no idea!
*Kululu presses Giroro's nose, ice cream truck music plays*
*Cuts to creatures flying away*
Dororo: *Cough, drawings explode* Not contagious, my ass!
*Alisa starts attacking*
Dororo: An attacker?! Hmm, my advanced senses indicate *PHOOM* AAAAAGH!!!
Koyuki: *Gasp!* I sense a disturbance on the-
Keroro: OH MY GOD, YOU JUST NEVER STOP. *Alisa grabs him* AAAGH!
Natsumi: I’m okay with that.
*Alisa attacks Giroro*
Giroro: Alright, you wanna fuck some shit up? I’M A PRO AT fucking it up...
Kululu: *Calling out* I believe in you, Giroro! Nobody fucks up like you dooooo!
*Alisa flies away*
Fuyuki: God Momoka. It’s not bipolar; it’s “I’m happy” and “I’m sad”. Oh hey!
Momoka: *To herself* I hope Fuyuki appreciates my lack of imagination.
Fuyuki: Momoka! *Waving* Did your washing machine go to war?
Momoka: *Excited gasp* *Calling out* Only over you, my love!
*Alisa drops down between them*
Alisa: Don’t look at him. Don’t look at him. Don’t look at hi- *Turns*
Fuyuki: 1, 2, 3, go-!
Fuyuki: Hey, I got my game baaaack!
Momoka: *Dark Momoka* Fuyuki’s mine for the day, you bitch! *Turns* Paul!
*Cuts to Halloween Guy*
Halloween Guy: Alright! It’s time to bob for *PHOOM* AAAAAGH!!!
Guy: I didn’t know it was Burning Man!
*Cuts to Paul*
Paul: Use this combat suit I stole from the Keronians. It's in a coffin because I have no faith in you.
Momoka: *Flying off* Myyyy COUPOOOOOOON!
Koyuki: *Calling out* Dororo! Hang on!
Alisa: I see this boy is more popular than I thought.
Koyuki: Let Dororo go!
Alisa: I thought his name was Fuyuki…
Koyuki: Him too!
Alisa: Never. *More confrontational* Fuyuki belongs to me.
*Nebula turns into tentacles*
Fuyuki: *Gasp!* *Remembers Medusa picture* Look out! She reads!
*Alisa’s eyes flash, Koyuki and Momoka turn to stone*
Alisa: I’m letting you know that I’m your boyfriend now.
Fuyuki: Don’t you mean girlfriend?
Alisa: Not where you’re going.
*Flies away, scene transitions to Alisa’s house*
Alisa and Nebula: Shut up.
Fuyuki: What’s really going on? Why me?
Nebula: Alisa has taken a liking to you, boy.
Alisa: I chose you because...I'm lonely.
*Quiet scream for Dororo*
Fuyuki: Well I don’t care anymore. What was that?
Alisa: That was just my dad’s lunchbox.
Nebula: I keep my favorite food in there.
Fuyuki: Oh! Anything I could have?
Keroro: Fuyuki? Fuyuki?!
Fish guy: UUUURGH
Fuyuki: Sarge, you couldn’t fill up anybody.
Keroro: Right back at’cha, Varsity reject!
Alisa: I used to be a doll, but my dad brought me to life to help him find his food. You see, my dad comes from a special race of aliens. They like to eat aliens. Your friends are aliens. You’re smart enough to figure this out.
Fuyuki: ...I am. FUCK.
Alisa: But he’s not going to eat you, Fuyuki. You’re a special boy. I want to keep you for myself.
*Tamama crashes through window*
Tamama: YEEEAH! Told you, girls! 40th time’s the charm!
Fuyuki: Natsumi! Quickly! Before she makes me marry her!
Alisa: You know, we don’t have to marry. I just wanted a boyfrie-
Natsumi: You better not have hurt my brother!
Alisa: I didn’t. I may have tied him up, but I don’t want to hurt him…
Natsumi: …You… don’t?
Alisa: Of course not. I really like Fuyuki.
*Cuts to Momoka, crack appears*
Fuyuki: Well…okay, but what about my friends?
Nebula: Eh…I suppose if you accept Alisa’s proposal, I can let them go.
Fuyuki: Hmm…will you promise not to eat anyone else on this planet?
Nebula: I can leave whenever I want, so yeah, I’m cool with that.
Fuyuki: Alright. I’ll be Alisa’s boyfriend.
*Momoka’s head explodes*
Snake: *as Raiden* STRUT H IS DOWN!
*MGS music: Dun Dun Dun-Dun-Dun!*
*Koyuki turns back to normal*
Keroro, Tamama, Kululu, Dororo: YAAAAY!
Keroro: But it’ll never bring back Boney!
Fuyuki: So, AlisaAAH?
Mois: *Cheerful* Oh, she flew away. Well, she hit her head on the chandelier and fell back to the ground, but then she flew away again. I’m surprised you guys didn’t hear that!
*Cuts to Fuyuki and Natsumi*
Fuyuki: I hope Momoka’s okay now that I’m taken. She almost lost her head!
Natsumi: Shut up, Fuyuki.
Fuyuki: She better get headway in finding a replacement!
Natsumi: *Offended* She’s dead, Fuyuki!
Fuyuki: Alisa… Well, she's not there. I win by default.
*Crashing in distance*
Keroro, Tamama, Giroro: *Gasp!*
Keroro: That. Is not. What I wanted for my birthday.
Kululu: Too bad. It’s a gift from HQ. Let’s see, the note says “We need you to keep this around for us. Also you’re still fired. Also we’re not fixing your roof.”
Keroro: That’s terrible!
Giroro: That’s obvious!
Tamama: It’s doing something!
Keroro: *Nervous* 175 days…
Giroro: Until what…?
Kululu: “Also your hats are made of children.”
Ice cream truck
“Papa mow-mow papa oom mow-ma-mow-“
“EVERYBODY CUT FOOTLOOSE”
“Let’s all go to the lobby”
Birdy: Yeah, I don’t know when we’re coming back. I haven’t seen my back in years.
Ice cream truck ending
Alisa: Dad, what am I?
Nebula: Well, honey, have you ever seen Toy Story?
Nebula: Good. It’ll ruin your life.
*And now a word from our sponsor*
Tempe: You can never have too much fun at a park! *Rolls down hill*